Atheism caught my eye in mid-January. Before then, I had always pictured atheists as stubborn 20-something intellectuals who, in their perceived invincibility, thought themselves smarter and better than believers. True, some atheists fit this description. But in January I met the de-converts via the blogging world. These atheists had once been church-going believers who for various reasons began to doubt and eventually rejected deism altogether. They had been among us.
And to be quite honest, this scared me. How is it possible that someone who had known the love of Jesus would willingly walk away? My mind couldn’t grasp it. Once I got past the intellectual arguments, what I found was that for many of these people, God simply wasn’t there for them when they needed Him. And at this pivotal point, doubt entered in — doubt about the Bible being one of the biggies. Without the Bible, Christianity falls apart (at least for us modern-day believers who did not actually see Jesus in the flesh). And what scared me the most is that this could happen to any one of us, even me.
I prayed all that week, and on a Friday night I asked my small group to pray with me — to pray for a particular deconvert who seemed lodged in my spirit, for me, and just for belief in general. I was beginning to think that maybe I was obsessed and should let it go, until the next day.
It was just a regular Saturday. After we ate breakfast as a family, my 6-year old daughter went into the other room to play and color. After a while she brought us something she had been writing. This isn’t unusual for her — she has always loved letters and words, and frequently writes sweet things to us like “I Love Mom” or “I love Dad.” She almost always asks us to help her spell things, and her pictures and words are always very positive. So imagine my shock when she brought me my Christian devotional book, and on the cover she had written “I do NOT bilef in this book.”
I asked her what it meant, and she said it means she doesn’t believe. So my husband said, “Sweetie, do you know what this book is about?” and she said no. He said, “It’s about God.” And her face was shocked, and she grabbed the pen and crossed out the words. I tried to remember if she had heard me talking about belief with our small group the night before, but she had been upstairs playing with her friends during our prayer time. Was this a coincidence, or something else?
The next morning I prayed for God to give me insight, and the name “Unbelief” came to me. Not doubt, but Un-Belief — the undoing of belief. And so I prayed for specific scripture verses, to use against this spirit named “Unbelief” (one of our offensive weapons for spiritual warfare is the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God, from Ephesians 6:17). And the following verses came to mind:
“I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he shall be saved, and shall go in and out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I come that they might have life, and might have it abundantly.” John 10:9-10.
I’ll let you make your own conclusions about this. It COULD have been a coincidence. But for me it was a reminder that the enemy doesn’t play nice.