Posts Tagged facebook
Quitting Facebook, One Month Later
Posted by annaldavis in Cyberculture on July 27, 2011
It’s been exactly four weeks since I quit Facebook. I miss reading my friends’ posts. Every now and then something cool will happen, and I’ll consider posting a new status, only to remember that I no longer have a Facebook account. I also sometimes feel out of the loop, because often people use Facebook to plan events or share important information.
But I don’t regret it. I am enjoying my “face-to-face” relationships more, and gaining more from my conversations. For example, someone might say to me: “Did I tell you about what happened the other day?”
Several months ago, I may have replied with: “No, but I saw it on Facebook. So is everyone feeling better?” And the person would have replied, “Yes, so glad that is over!” and then we would have changed the subject to something we hadn’t already covered online. But now, I don’t know everything that has happened to my friends. And so my response is more like, “No, what happened?” Then I get to hear the whole story, more in-depth, with more range of emotion than a few typed symbols can provide.
The Facebook newsfeed leaves out some of the most important parts of the story. It’s like the difference between watching a story on CNN about a hurricane, or talking in person with someone who actually experienced it. With a newsfeed, you get the basic information. The windspeed, the size, the wave height. But in person, you hear the thrill in their voice, the fear, the apprehension, the excitement. You see their hands shake when they recall the harrowing evacuation process. There is something MORE that happens when we connect in person—or even on the phone—something that black letters on a screen cannot convey.
Yes, I miss reading my friends’ posts. I don’t know what’s going on with hundreds of people – or what that one kid from high school ate for breakfast. But it’s been nice to enjoy conversations again, instead of cutting them short because “I heard it on Facebook.”
One month without Facebook? No problem. That’s only the beginning.
Dropping Out (Part 3 of 3)
Posted by annaldavis in Cyberculture on July 13, 2011
My two biggest reasons for quitting Facebook were deeply personal. This one is more of a social commentary, but also personal because I am a parent. Here are the questions I have to ask myself: Could Facebook cause long-term harm to our social habits? Does the good outweigh the bad?
The jury is still out on this one, but it does seem clear that the Internet and social networking sites like Facebook are changing our social structure in ways we don’t fully understand. Our young kids today will feel these effects more than anyone else before them.
Reason #3: I am accountable to my children for my social media choices.
Since my 8-year old has already started campaigning for a cell phone – though we’ve assured her she’ll probably be the last among her friends to get one — I figure the Facebook conversation isn’t too far behind. And I don’t quite know what to tell her.
Facebook is fast-becoming the single most determining factor in a person’s future, especially for teens. That’s because 80% of colleges use Facebook as part of their admissions process. Surveys also show that a huge percentage of employers check out a potential Facebook profile before deciding who to hire. There’s even a company called Social Intelligence Corporation, a “start-up that scours social media and Internet sites for dirt on employees and job applicants.” While this company was under federal investigation for potential rights violation, the government recently dropped the case, signaling a green light for the practice of using social media sites to do background checks and other private research.
As a grown adult, I don’t even know how to effectively handle the power that is Facebook (see my first two posts in this series if you have any question about that). Fortunately, my biggest life decisions are behind me. I already went to college, made a career choice, chose a marriage partner, and decided how much I will compromise for career/status/money. So if I tell my kids that Facebook is fine as long as they handle it wisely, then I really don’t know what I’m talking about. What is wise, in this current era? I’m not sure at the moment.
Obviously inappropriate pics are out of the question. But managing your profile image (and controlling your friend list) to become more attractive for potential mates, colleges, and employers? Judging potential friends on the basis of what they “add” or “take away from” the desired image? That would be technically smart, probably. But not the Christian thing to do. Not the way I want to raise my children, or the qualities I want to foster within myself.
However I certainly can’t tell them why they shouldn’t be on Facebook, if I am active on Facebook. That’s like saying “Son, don’t ever drink beer. Now hand me another cold one.” I have to answer to my kids about social media in one way or another.
And that’s my third (and last) reason for dropping out of Facebook.
Maybe someday I’ll go back, with more wisdom and intentionality. Facebook says I can reactivate my old account at any time, “and start connecting.” Today, though, I’m connecting much better without it.
(Make sure to check out my new page: Quitting Facebook).
Dropping Out (Part 2 of 3)
Posted by annaldavis in Cyberculture, Everything Else, Writing on June 30, 2011
In recently quitting Facebook, I walked away from a fantastic blessing. I’ve enjoyed catching up with friends from the past and present, seeing their pictures, and knowing what they’re doing. I’ve even made some new friends because of Facebook.
This brings a certain sense of continuity. In some small way, Facebook might be like heaven – everyone we’ve ever known, their place in our lives scrolled out before us as on a screen, with no mysteries about “whatever happened to so-and-so?” It will all be known, even as we are each fully known.
But Facebook exists in our fallen world, full of the brokenness with which we’re all familiar. Plus, keeping up with all those people on Facebook is overwhelming for me. That’s part of my own brokenness.
Reason #2: Facebook makes it more difficult for me to pay attention to the people and tasks in my immediate surroundings.
I have recently been re-diagnosed as having ADHD – Inattentive Type. Paying attention is hard for me even under the best of circumstances. I have a constant chatter of thoughts in my head, many of which get incorporated into my writing (when I make myself sit down long enough to somehow write something cohesive).
Facebook doesn’t help. For me, it’s not about the time spent online. It’s about the chatter in my head. When I read Facebook status updates, I think about them long after closing down the screen. I wonder why one friend said this and another friend said that. In my best moments I pray for people who asked for prayers in their posts, and in my worst moments I spend negative energy judging people for what they chose to post. I try to remember to say “happy birthday” to my friends on their walls. I loved reading the happy birthday wishes on my own wall a few weeks ago. I think about the people who wrote those nice things, and wonder when I could get together with this friend or that one. How could I reach out to them beyond Facebook, or should I reach out at all?
These thoughts take up space in my brain. And then when Brad wants to talk with me – really talk – then I have to tune out those Facebook-driven thoughts in addition to the regular chatter of my ADHD mind. I don’t always succeed. Sometimes when my kids ask me their deepest questions, looking to me for that real guidance and love that only a parent can provide, I have a hard time making the space in my head for them, because there are so many other thoughts bouncing around that I just simply can’t focus.
Facebook isn’t the entire problem – I can get mentally distracted by an airplane in the distant skyline. But part of managing ADHD is limiting how much data enters my brain. That is my second-biggest reason for dropping out of Facebook.
More to come…
