Posts Tagged parenting
Dropping Out (Part 3 of 3)
Posted by annaldavis in Cyberculture on July 13, 2011
My two biggest reasons for quitting Facebook were deeply personal. This one is more of a social commentary, but also personal because I am a parent. Here are the questions I have to ask myself: Could Facebook cause long-term harm to our social habits? Does the good outweigh the bad?
The jury is still out on this one, but it does seem clear that the Internet and social networking sites like Facebook are changing our social structure in ways we don’t fully understand. Our young kids today will feel these effects more than anyone else before them.
Reason #3: I am accountable to my children for my social media choices.
Since my 8-year old has already started campaigning for a cell phone – though we’ve assured her she’ll probably be the last among her friends to get one — I figure the Facebook conversation isn’t too far behind. And I don’t quite know what to tell her.
Facebook is fast-becoming the single most determining factor in a person’s future, especially for teens. That’s because 80% of colleges use Facebook as part of their admissions process. Surveys also show that a huge percentage of employers check out a potential Facebook profile before deciding who to hire. There’s even a company called Social Intelligence Corporation, a “start-up that scours social media and Internet sites for dirt on employees and job applicants.” While this company was under federal investigation for potential rights violation, the government recently dropped the case, signaling a green light for the practice of using social media sites to do background checks and other private research.
As a grown adult, I don’t even know how to effectively handle the power that is Facebook (see my first two posts in this series if you have any question about that). Fortunately, my biggest life decisions are behind me. I already went to college, made a career choice, chose a marriage partner, and decided how much I will compromise for career/status/money. So if I tell my kids that Facebook is fine as long as they handle it wisely, then I really don’t know what I’m talking about. What is wise, in this current era? I’m not sure at the moment.
Obviously inappropriate pics are out of the question. But managing your profile image (and controlling your friend list) to become more attractive for potential mates, colleges, and employers? Judging potential friends on the basis of what they “add” or “take away from” the desired image? That would be technically smart, probably. But not the Christian thing to do. Not the way I want to raise my children, or the qualities I want to foster within myself.
However I certainly can’t tell them why they shouldn’t be on Facebook, if I am active on Facebook. That’s like saying “Son, don’t ever drink beer. Now hand me another cold one.” I have to answer to my kids about social media in one way or another.
And that’s my third (and last) reason for dropping out of Facebook.
Maybe someday I’ll go back, with more wisdom and intentionality. Facebook says I can reactivate my old account at any time, “and start connecting.” Today, though, I’m connecting much better without it.
(Make sure to check out my new page: Quitting Facebook).
Youth Ministers and Parents: Please read!
Posted by annaldavis in Everything Else on March 14, 2009
I posted an announcement about my book for Christian college girls on MySpace the other day. Did you know that MySpace is the number one website for college students? If you’re interested in seeing the replies to my announcement, click here. But be warned: many of these replies are obscene and extraordinarily offensive. Just the mention of God, college, and girls in one breath apparently warrants all kinds of attack.
Do you think our girls aren’t in a war out there? From sex to postmodern feminism, in addition to the regular college pressures of humanism and increased freedom — it’s a spiritual war in the truest sense. And the crazy thing is that they really can emerge from college stronger and more faithful women of Christ, but it won’t happen by accident.
Is Your Daughter Graduating from High School?
Posted by annaldavis in Everything Else on March 12, 2009
So your daughter is graduating from high school in a couple of months, and you feel, well, everything. Words likely cannot express the wide range of emotions over this giant milestone in her life. You’re happy, sad, proud, maybe a bit worried, grieving for the “baby” you raised, and rejoicing in the grown woman she’s become.
Will she be going to college? If so, she’ll need your prayers more than ever. As a college student, she will have opportunity galore but with opportunity comes unprecedented pressure to figure it all out. By sophomore year she will need to declare a major. This brings even bigger questions to mind, questions that frame her entire future. What does she want in a career? When does she want to get married? When would be the ideal time to have children? How would having a husband and children impact her career? And so it goes.
You may feel relatively confident that she can handle these pressures. And she can, but she needs the right tools. You have some very seductive competition on the college campus, and I’m not talking about that guy sitting next to her in Calculus 101. I’m referring to postmodern feminist theory – the idea that God is old-fashioned and oppressive (even irrelevant), families tie you down, and you have the right to pursue your own dreams and desires at the cost of everything else. Believe me, this philosophy is alive and well on your daughter’s college campus!
Even Christian colleges can’t escape these ideas seeping in from the young adult culture. And because postmodern feminist theory will frame the way your daughter sees her future, it could indeed derail what God has planned for her, even at the stage of choosing a major. So what can you do? Four things: 1) Pray, 2) Let her go, 3) Entrust her to God’s hands, and finally 4) Teach her to do the same for herself. You’ve probably been doing all of these since the day you sent her off to kindergarten, so don’t stop now.
